My right hand is sore after doing dozens of internal examinations. In my 36 hours of duty, I delivered 10 babies; 9 vaginally, 1 operatively. Apart from that, I assisted in one exploratory laparotomy and 3 curettes. As 8 o’clock in the morning was approaching, everyone was scrambling to get home since it’s a holiday weekend. I had to go overtime because we had one more pending cesarean section delivery. After the operation, all of my service mates were already gone. I lied on a tiny cushion in our dressing room for a while. I was thinking of where to unwind after my duty. My sister went to our province…my boyfriend and my bestfriend are on duty…I have no contact with my college friends anymore. Alone, tired and with nowhere to go to but my empty apartment, I decided to just close my eyes and fall into a deep slumber.
It’s already 4 o’clock in the afternoon when I woke up. I was still on my bloody scrubs. I had a quick bath first before going home. On my way, I decided to buy something for dinner. Just to make my pathetic day more pathetic, I bought instant noodles and some chips for dinner. When I got home, I took off my clothes, went directly to my bed and slept for another 12 hours. So, I never had the chance to eat my pathetic dinner which makes me more pathetic because like a penniless vagabond, I slept with nothing in my stomach.
When I woke up, I checked my facebook and found the Coca-cola happiness truck video.
I found myself smiling and clapping as different kinds of surprises came out of the Coca-cola truck. After the watching the video, my mood was slightly uplifted but just for a few seconds. The idea of "everyone is so happy..." was suddenly followed by "...but me" in my mind. Then, my eyes started to well up with tears and I started sobbing. I can't find a reason for the sudden burst of inappropriate emotion. It doesn't happen to me a lot..actually it never happened before.
I went to my fridge to get something. Coincidentally, there was a bottle of Coca-cola inside, which did comfort me a bit. I checked my facebook again and saw a picture of my classmate, who is a single mother, with her son in Serendra. I checked her other pictures. I saw one where she's with her family eating out. Thinking that it would be the my first Halloween without my family, I started to sob again. Then the idea of not being able to spend Christmas with my family this December came into my mind, so, I sobbed louder.
As I recovered from my emotional stint, I asked myself, if the Coca-cola truck can read my mind and it could give me the thing that could make me happy right now, what would it be? Then, I received a phone call from my boyfriend. He told me that he would be off by 6 o'clock...
Ok. I think I just pushed the truck's red button. ;)
As I recovered from my emotional stint, I asked myself, if the Coca-cola truck can read my mind and it could give me the thing that could make me happy right now, what would it be? Then, I received a phone call from my boyfriend. He told me that he would be off by 6 o'clock...
Ok. I think I just pushed the truck's red button. ;)
It's really a vulnerable moment, especially near the end, when the guys are all playing with their skateboards, stuff toys, frisbee... and at the end with the balloons flying off the truck... Nakakatuwa at the same time nakakainggit...
ReplyDeleteLife in the hospital is undoubtedly hard, especially in situations like yours where there are lots of patients everyday... This is part of the experience and character building that we have to go through to put those two letters to the end of our name...
In a few months' time, it'll be over. Kaya mo yan. I'm just a phone call away if you need me. Let's be each other's red button (and by red button, i mean to say a good session of "anti-stress services", hihihi).
I love you so much my baby.
~Boyfie, M.D.
thanks harry. i love you so much. hihihi.
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