Me-time, we-time

It's been a while, and yes, a lot of things have already happened. I'm done with my residency training and I am now the chief of our department (if you're watching Grey's Anatomy, I'm like Miranda Bailey, but the silent version). I am about to finish the series of examinations for my specialty. And yes, I've broken up with Warren after two happy years. Well, that's just a short story to update you of what I've been through during my break from this site.

Anyway, it's a holiday morning, and I woke up on my office's couch. I was in a halloween party the night before, but the workaholic in me brought me back to my office  to finish some administrative work; explaining why I'm still in the office on a holiday. But what really kept me in the office is my psychological exam that I took 4 years ago before I entered residency. I was looking for some files when I came across this, which kept me up until 3am, bothered and googling. According to my results, I have schizoid personality disorder: avoidant, introvert, apathetic but creative. What keeps me functional is my very high coping ability score.

I woke up at 8am with a burning stomach because of my stress-induced gastroesophageal reflux. I was famished and thought of having my breakfast somewhere nice before hitting the gym. The introvert in me is pushing me to have a me-time breakfast in a secluded restaurant. I went to a french resto thinking of its cozy ambience and classic french cafe music to set my mood for the day.  Moreover, it's a holiday, the city dwellers are away, as well as a lot of people I know, allowing me to have a perfect me-time in a less crowded cafe. 

The place was perfect. It's almost empty, with just two unfamiliar faces having their coffee. As the aroma of freshly brewed coffee greeted me, I found the perfect place for my alone-time: a corner table at the back of the restaurant. After ordering from the menu, a familiar face entered the door of the cafe. A junior surgeon accompanied by another junior surgeon from the hospital where I work at. I quickly avoided any eye contact and moved my table closer to the corner to avoid being noticed. Whew, and that's how to save your me-time.

But then, the door chimes sounded again, and more surgeons came in, and as they grew in number, they had to extend the table, and worse, get the extra chair from my table. Eventually, their table  is just in front of mine. After a few minutes, the chief of surgery, who I work with, came in, noticed me, and invited me to join their table. And that's how my perfect me-time turned into a nightmare. As if this is not enough, the door chimes sounded again, and to my surprise, two of my junior residents came in to eat and sat beside my table. And so, I was shouting inside, "What's with this cafe? Why is everyone here? Isn't it a holiday? Why aren't you in the cemetery?!!!" All I wanted was to enjoy my coffee and crepe, chill a bit and appreciate the rainy morning, ALONE. There's just too much talking and socializing, that drained a lot of my energy.

These people unknowingly killed my mood and sucked up my energy so I just decided to go home instead of going to the gym. And that's another day gone... tsk! The struggles of an introvert.