Idiot's Guide to Coming Out

Isabela texted me and asked for a favor. She needed help in finding a gift for her monito, or should I say... "monitey!" *jazz hands*.  She did not identify the person but she just described him as her gay blockmate in denial. I instantly knew that her monito is Jack. "It's Jack, right?" I asked her. "How did you know...Oh well, wala namang iba sa block namin," she replied.  

Well, Jack is utterly and overtly gay, but he just doesn't admit it...or he lacks insight of it? Everybody knows that he's gay but him. What kind of straight man craves for a facial when he's stressed, "I'm so toxic, I need some facial!" (Jack, 2012). (My naughty mind can't help but think of another kind of facial). BB cream? Ask details from him because he's a living proof of how it makes his skin blemish-free. And the walk...he could embarrass the sorority girls with his swinging hips. Yet, when he was in a comedy bar, he walked out when a gay comedian labeled him as "kalahi."

Then Isabela texted again.

Isabela: "So what should I give him? Our theme is something dangerous. I want something witty, worth 200 pesos" 

Basti: "Give him a box of condoms with holes punched out of it. It's dangerous, "

Isabela: "You're not the first person to suggest that, "

Basti: "How about a male prostitute?"

Isabela: "Are they that cheap today? Will they go for 200 pesos?"

Basti: "The cheaper, the more dangerous. They have a higher chance of harboring the virus....God! I can't believe you're really considering that. Baka mag walk-out nanaman yun."

Isabela: "So, ano nga?"

Basti: "How about a self-help book? Idiot's guide to coming out or Stepping out of the closet for dummies. Hehehe"

Isabela: "I guess, we need a copy of those too." 

Toink....A dose of your own medicine. 

photo from here