Sunday, August 5, 2018

Bad at Names

I met a guy in Grindr once. A guy living just a few floors away from my unit. It was one of those nights when you know... The conversation was quick and short and we quickly arrived to an agreement. We exchanged digits and I saved his name as {insertcondoname here} Guy. A few minutes later, we met at his place, short introduction and there...

A few days later, {insertcondoname here} Guy texted again and we got it on again. And then another day... and another... until one day when I really had to call his name but my mind went blank. "Hey, uhhmm, I'm sorry, but I forgot your name," I embarrassingly asked him. "Lorenzo, you're Basti, right?" God! He remembers!

Not my first embarrassing experience when it comes to names. I have a pretty, sophisticated friend, named Sophia. We were in Palawan and just came from the beach, still wearing our sunglasses. We were rushing towards the hotel bathroom. When I came out, a medical representative who I talk to every week for months saw me and asked me if the girl I am with is Snooky Serna. Well, with the sunglasses, she does look like Snooky. When Sophia came out of the bathroom, I introduced them to one another just to prove that she's not Snooky. "Sophia, this is... uhmmm... she's from this drug company." I flushed. Well, she's not the only one. I don't remember half of the names of the medical representatives that I see every week. 

Then, there was this young intern from Unicef who goes to every office to share his advocacy for the poor children...aka...soliciting funds for Unicef. He is cute and has big arms, which is one of my weaknesses. He introduced himself as Henry and showed me his flip chart on the dire condition of poor Filipino children. It just lasted for 20 minutes. Well, I'm not really moved, but he's cute and well, okay, that 20 pesos a day will go a long way. So I gave my credit card details. Just to make sure that I understand what I am signing up to, Henry asked me some questions...
"What is the organization that you're helping?" Unicef
"How much are you willing to give to the organization?" 20 pesos a day
"How long is your commitment to help these children?" 2 years
"What is my name?" ________, "My God, Sorry, I forgot..." My face turned red again.






Sunday, May 20, 2018

When Naivety Leads you to a Gay Spa

We had our old condo rented out as traffic became more annoying in the area. So, I recently moved to a new condominium nearer to my work. Everything around me is new.

On one Saturday afternoon, I arrived home after attending 2 hours of gym class. I just wanna lie on my bed and rest after the intense routines in my mixed martial arts and yoga class. I then realized that I left my keys inside the unit. I rang my sister and asked if she's at home; unfortunately, she is dining outside and will arrive at around 9pm. Since I just want to relax and rest, I thought of getting a massage, the perfect way to kill time and soothe my aching muscles.

I drove around the area and saw this spa which I'll just call E Therapy (the name is somewhat similar to that). E for me, is something that you would add to a name to emphasize that it is electronic, innovative or different (like e-mail, e-cigarette). Its facade has white french windows. It is also brightly lit from the inside. It looks so innocent; a place where you would want to have your nails done.

I opened the door  and was greeted by a middle-aged receptionist who handed me a menu of services that they offer. Nothing shady. Everything in the lobby and on the menu is what you would expect on a normal spa. Since it is my first time in the spa, I asked the lady if I could get the first-timer package. She called out for a name and instructed someone to get the kit for the service that I chose.  She explained to me that the package includes a shower, a 1 1/2 hour massage, and I forgot the other things that she said as her words became blah blahs when a hot guy came out with a basket of oils and towels. I can't remember, but I hope my jaw did not drop.

Scruffy guy, groomed facial hair, average height, big chest and arms. He looks like someone with a middle eastern mix. He asked me to sit down so that he can take off my shoes and  replace it with slippers. I was still clueless at this point.

He led me to a locker room where I can deposit my valuables and handed me a towel and a robe. I saw more borta buff dudes wearing the same color of muscle shirt (somewhat like a uniform) walking around and that's when it hit me... I am in a gay spa. *insert It's Raining Men music cue here*

Flashback: 
Two years ago, I heard my residency batchmates joking around with a term "spakol." I shyly asked what it is and they just answered me, "it's a spa with happy endings." That's when I also learned what's ES and those stuff. Sometimes, I could really be so naïve.

Back to present:
Since I have already paid and my muscles are longing for a massage badly, I chose to proceed with the experience. My mantra was: happy ending could be achieved with a satisfying massage alone without the "extra service." ...and ...the therapist is hot, so no more hesitations.

The therapist, who I'll call Sam, came back after I've changed and led me to the shower room. I really can't understand the room. It has a large tiled bed in the middle and a shower head on a corner. It reminded me of morgue tables which creeped me out. I guess it's what they use for body scrubs? Since the room is mostly occupied by the tiled bed, There's just a little space where you can stand and take a shower. I'm not sure if I have to take the shower lying down on the table, or if it is even okay to get the table wet. I've managed to squeeze myself in a corner. After a quick shower, I opened the door and the now half-naked Sam greeted me outside. He was just wearing boxer shorts. His proud pecs are outlined by the shadows of the dim light. *wipes drooling saliva* He smiled and led me upstairs to a massage cubicle. He is soft spoken and polite.

The still clueless and nervous me still don't know what to do. He asked me to lie prone on the table, which I did, fully clothed with my robe. Maybe he found it strange or funny. He politely asked if he could remove my robe, which he gently did. I was still wearing my boxerbriefs underneath (maybe at this point, he noticed that I am new to this thing. Pa-virg ang effect). The therapy started with the usual question, "what pressure?" I just opted for a moderate one. He started with the typical stretching and began to work with long strokes on my lower leg. In fairness, it was relaxing.

As he went further to my upper legs, he politely asked if he could remove my underwear. I was taken aback for a while but I thought, it's part of this kind of massage. It's becoming quite sensual as his fingertips touch those sensitive areas while he kneads through my upper thighs. I tried so hard to keep everything down there calm. He then proceeded with the back massage which was equally good. He used hot packs to make long strokes at my back which nearly put me to sleep. He then whispered, "just relax," and grabbed my legs, spread them apart, lifted them and placed them on his while he sat in between my legs, his crotch near my exposed but cheeks. It was indeed a compromising position. He did some strokes behind there and again, I tried to keep everything calm.

He then asked me to lie supine. Just before we started with the front-body massage, he excused himself and went to the bathroom. I lied there feeling awkward for a while with just a piece of cloth covering my nakedness.  I heard his foot steps coming back and I pretended that I am chill, relaxed and asleep with my eyes half-opened, just enough to appreciate the beauty of my therapist. Sam came back with a towel hanging around his neck. I really don't know what it's for. Did he take a quick shower?

The polite Sam thanked me for allowing him to go on a quick break and resumed with the therapy. He again started with the feet, lower legs, going up. After a while, he again whispered, "just relax" and lifted my legs, separated them again and placed them on his while kneeling in front of my nakedness. We are now in a position which resembles a "missionary" position. Again, I felt vulnerable. He did some mild ticklish strokes around the perineal area but this time, I really can't contain what's down there from going up. After that, he made strokes towards my chest while in the same position. As he repeated the strokes, his chest went nearer to my body until they eventually began touching and rubbing. And that’s not the only thing rubbing my body 😛.

That's when the question popped out. He made one last stroke from my abdomen towards my chest. His face ended up so near my neck that I can feel his warm breath. His lips are almost touching my ears. I can feel his beard and mustache tickling it. He is now completely on top of me with his arms wrapped around my body. He whispered the question, you know what...something about ES.

Very tempting... but I assured him that he doesn’t have to worry. I'll just tip him like he gave me an ES (thinking that he needs the money...and ...I did touch his pecs while telling him this. hihi.). But apparently, it was Sam who got aroused and politely asked if he could just jack off. I said okay and made him do his thing in a corner. At this point, I'm not sure if I need  to help him out. I ended up sitting on the other end of the bed,  checking out my nails, and the rest was  a dum dee dum moment while waiting for him to finish his thing.  He smiled at me and thanked me again. When I was about to leave the cubicle, he helped me put my robe back on. He tied the sash  while he is at my back, his arms almost wrapping my waist (like that Jack and Rose Titanic scene). He then put his lips near my ears and whispered, "sana makabalik po kayo." Kilig and tempting pero I know, that's the end of it.

And so, in my three decades of existence,  that is my first spakol experience. Indeed, happy endings are relative and doesn't have to end as expected. Did I enjoy it? Yes I did. The sensual things, the first experience and the thought of helping someone (char...ang sakit sa bulsa). Overall, I received the massage I needed with some sort of teasing.

Looking back, the naïve me just realized that the name of the spa is not that innocent after all. E could have stood for erotic... or extra service. *Face palm*