The Guy behind the Mask

When we first spoke to each other, I told you that you're just like my ex, Harry.

Chinese, introvert, thrifty and a doctor... well, that's what your PR profile says. After that first message, we had a long conversation. We regularly exchanged messages.You denied it at first, but eventually, I found out that we are in the same institution. You were just a clerk then, while I was your intern. I checked my FB for all the Chinese surnames in your batch, and that's how I figured out who you are.

We have already met before we first talked to each other at PR. It was several months before that. I was the outgoing post duty intern while you were the incoming duty clerk. Your co-clerk introduced us to each other, but either you're shy or snob because you just went on doing your stuff. Warren..that's your name, though it did not stick to my mind, I've always noticed you whenever we bump into each other.

I told you how we met but it seemed like that that event was so insignificant for you because you can't remember it. I could still remember every detail of it... where we were, and yes, the face mask that you were wearing because you're sick that time. But that doesn't matter, because at least, you're speaking to me now.

We have been talking to each other through PR, FB and SMS for several months and we have shared a lot of stories about ourselves. You always tell me about some significant updates in your life, like when you came out to your family. You told me a lot about your self, about how introvert you are, about how you graduated Magna cum laude and a lot more that introduced me to your character. You also never failed to update me about your dates, like your very first date with a Chinese archer, and your date with guys that I also know, like Julian...and yes... HARRY! What a small world.

Apparently, you have known each other through PR even before we met there. I was okay with you dating my ex. I was even the one who encouraged you to go out with him. (And until now, I still don't know why I did that).  I pushed you because I think that you're perfect for each other, as I have said in my very first message to you, you're just like my ex. But on the day that you met, I had mixed emotions. I don't know if I'm jealous of Harry dating someone else, or you dating someone else, who happened to be my ex. I was starting to like you that time.

Things didn't go well with you and Harry. You were so frustrated when he didn't reply to your messages. I could tell that you really liked him, and so for an unknown reason, I gathered up my courage and asked Harry what happened. He just said that he didn't feel the spark. But eventually, you got over your frustration over my ex.

to be continued...

photo from here

Hero's Welcome

It has been more than a week since the last day of the boards. Due to the monsoon rains that battered Manila and the holidays, the release of the results was significantly delayed, prolonging our agony. Normally, it only takes 3 days to release the results, but due to the disruption of government offices, 3 days became 9 days.  I was watching a movie when I received a call from Isabela. "Congrats bestie! We all passed. 100%!"

The day after the release of the results, our school invited us to come for a thanksgiving celebration. On our way to the chapel, there were several med students on both sides of the paved way, carrying balloons, banners and roses. Then, they started cheering and beating drums, throwing rose petals on our path. They handed each one of us a long-stemmed white rose. It was a hero's welcome. A gesture of gratitude for maintaining the school's prestige, making it the top performing medical school in the country, along with 3 other schools with a 100% passing rate.

The alumni association treated us with a buffet lunch after the thanksgiving mass. After eating, I sat near the main stairs of the college. I watched as med students run up and down the stairs and realized how time flies. I remember myself wearing that same white uniform and every year, there is this one day when I pass by the celebration of the new board passers. In those moments, I always wished that I would finish med school on time and pass the boards with one take. Now, that day has come. I am now one of those celebrating, and perhaps, these students, were just like me then, dreaming and hoping.

But then I also realized, it's not the end. It's just like opening a new chapter. A tougher ground, as now, I have a license number that is in constant peril. I can now feel the pressure mounting as my choices could now determine if one would live or die.

By the way, in case you are curious, Adrian also made it. I feel happy for him. 

Another Ghost from the Past

The room assignments for the board exams are out. 

All takers who registered for this year's licensure exam are arranged alphabetically according to their family names, distributed among 3 testing centers in Manila. With heart pounding (because the release of room assignments is basically telling you that the board exams are just 4 days away), I checked my name online. I was quite relieved when I found out that some of my friends (surnames starting in C and D) were assigned in the same floor and building. I wouldn't be that much of a loner during break time. As I went through the names of my classmates and friends, I came across a very familiar name, just 3 rooms away from mine. It was Adrian's.

Adrian is a graduate of a Catholic medical school under the Benedictine order and he was an intern from a private hospital in a posh district in San Juan. I dated him back then. Nothing happened between us, which is probably the reason why he never called back. He kindda made it clear that he's just after his ulterior motives (which is, in his own words, "play" with me).

So the day of the exams came, and I totally forgot about the chances of encountering Adrian again. Well, taking the board exams make you think of other more important stuff,  like PASSING the exam! Before the start of the first test, we were allowed to go to the bathroom. After taking a leak, I checked myself out on the mirror behind someone who is washing his face on the lavatory. When he raised his head, I noticed that he stared at me through the mirror. Well, it's probably normal to check out the person using the mirror behind you, so I just left, forgetting about the incident. 

Then, the second day of exams came, now, people are more relaxed and are more aware of the people around them. Since there is heavy traffic in front of the testing center because of the road construction, my friends and I were dropped off somewhere near and we went on foot for the rest of the way. While we were walking, we passed by the guy who checked me out through the mirror the day before. He's buying cigarette from a takatak boy. And that's when it hit me... Adrian was a smoker. Honestly, I forgot how he looked like, or I guess, he gained a little weight. I just ignored the idea of bumping into him. So what? It wouldn't affect how I would take the exams.

The second day went by like a breeze. While I waited for my friends along the corridor, there he was on the other end. We glanced at each other but I showed no signs of recognition or anything. I quickly turned to another angle pretending that it's one of those accidental glances you make with random people. Finally, my friends came and as we went down the stairs, I saw him in my peripheral vision, following us up to the parking lot. Fortunately, our sundo was early and we were picked up right away. Then, the second week of exams came. I dunno if it's me, or it's just him try to get near me all the time. CR breaks, lunch breaks, in between breaks... papampam much! 

On the last day of exams, I accompanied my friends to a nearby church. I sat on a bleacher at the back as I waited for my friends to say their prayers. I've forgotten how grand Catholic Churches are since I became a Protestant. The last time I went inside one was during my father's burial (because his other family is Catholic) and so I just spent the rest of my time looking around, appreciating the architecture of the all-steel, gothic-inspired church. What caught my attention is a guy praying intently, his head bowed down, eyes tightly shut, his hands almost hugging the crucifix hanging near the entrance of the church. I instantly recognized that he's Adrian. Pati ba naman dito? But slowly, my bitterness turned into compassion as I could see, he might be going through a desperate situation.

Heavy rain was pouring outside the church as Maring started to devastate the metro. Our sundo took a while to come as the streets start to flood. I decided to go out of the church to wait. As I stand under the shade of the church's entrance, a guy stood just a foot away in front of me. Seriously Adrian? There's like 30 square meters of space and you decided to stand in front of me? Like a reflex, I went away, opened my umbrella and just waited under the rain. And yeah, I realized, seriously? There's 30 square meters of space under the shade and I had to stay under the rain...drama much! I guess that sent him the signal that there's no way I'm initiating a conversation. Anyway, from my position, I get to observe him more. Seems like he had no umbrella and he's figuring out a way to get to a ride. Later on, I saw him take out his hanky, put it on his head and skipped in between the puddles of water. I watched him as he made his way out of the gate and fade away from my sight. 

I watched him take the wrath of the weather, as he took the wrath of my bitterness. But then, I also remember the image of a desperate guy hugging a crucifix. Was all that papampam a call for comfort? Perhaps he needs to hear from someone that he's not the only one who finds the exam difficult, or maybe listen to some words of encouragement. Would it have been better if I offered him a ride, or shared my umbrella until he got a ride, or at least I said something nice? I guess, I should have done that, but I was short sighted, overcame by an emotional turmoil from the past. Oh well, for now, he has to endure the wrath of Maring and the wrath of Basti. Anyway, jerks need a little bit of spanking from time to time. I just wish the best for both of us. 

photo from here

Medicinae Doctor

 After 4 grueling years in medical school, I am finally receiving the degree, Medicinae Doctor (MD). By just looking at my toga, I feel like my 4 years of hard work have already been compensated. 

Starting tomorrow, I will be called Sebastian Cua, MD

My Showbiz Boyfriend

In the medical world, when one finds out that you are in a relationship, the next question would be, is he/she showbiz or non-showbiz?

Showbiz for us means that he/she is also a doctor, while non-showbiz means that he/she is not. So, that makes my boyfriend, showbiz. Anyway, no one has asked me that question yet in the hospital because so far, when they ask me if I'm already in a relationship I always answer no, which is automatically followed by an irritating "why?".

There are different views of a having a showbiz relationship. Some say that it's better because both of you would understand the lack of time for each other  while some say that you're more prone to getting bored of each other since you talk about nothing but medicine and the hospital.

As for us, we never get tired of the hospital talk. Since he is 2 years ahead of me, sometimes I feel so stupid when he lectures about hormones, receptors and some other blahs, while I make him drool with envy as I tell him how I'm so tired of inserting umbilical catheters that he could only dream of doing.

So, what do we do privately? Perhaps most would answer practicing rectal examinations....ummm...wrong... *thunder*

Kidding aside, our private time is also the moment when he unleashes his deeper emotions, telling me how frustrated he is when a patient dies, or how excited he is to live with me. He tells me of all of his plans...his plans for his career and his plans for us. He even shows me his salary and bank account and after which he stuffs half of his salary in my underwear while I dance around a makeshift pole in my apartment. (Ok, my imagination is just going overboard).

Anyway, my classmate Rafael, officially came out of the closet. (I said officially because we knew it anyway). He allegedly has two non-showbiz hunky suitors. Honestly, I'm quite envious of him not because he has two hot suitors. Rafael is already out and has nothing to hide anymore. He is living true to himself. And, aside from that, I also wanna brag that my boyfriend is cute....and he loves me so much...and he is a doctor... Beat that Rafael! Beat that!

photo from here

The Perfect Catch

Today, my family decided to fish because according to the caretaker of the pond, it is the best time to fish. So, we hurriedly packed our fishing rods and picnic basket. We arrived at the pond and started to unload our stuff. Our excitement suddenly died down when we found ourselves stuck in a foot-deep clay as we walk towards the edge of the pond. We finally reached the water after 20 minutes of skirmish with the thick heavy mud.

We began to cast our fishing poles in the water and waited for a fish to take a bite of the bait. Dum di dum di doo... nothing....dum di dum di doo...still no fish...dum di dum...we got tired of waiting and just decided to eat. Apparently, the water is too deep for fishing and the fishes are at the bottom of the pond. My mom wanted to hit the caretaker with her muddy slippers after she walked on thick mud for nothing.  She was quickly pacified.

 As we were eating, one of my uncles started to talk about why I am a good catch. Oh dear. Why should choosing a wife and fishing be metaphorically related?

"Basti here, has a good future ahead. Any parent would be thrilled to have a doctor as a son-in-law  who can also cook for their daughters. And with those chinito looks, you're definitely a good catch," he told everyone in the table.

My mom suddenly butted in, "I want my daughter-in-law to be a doctor..and she must be a good cook too! I don't want my son to go hungry!" She was hitting the table with a closed fist, making it more of a demand rather than just a statement. "...and please choose a fertile woman. I want an apo!" she continued. Everybody laughed.

"How about a son-in-law who is a doctor and who cooks well? He's fertile but we can't make a child of our own. We could adopt though to give you an apo." That was running in my mind as I gave them a sneaky smile.

I shoud still consider myself lucky for not being forced into fixed marriage. We are just part Chinese and I was raised with predominantly Filipino culture and traditions. However, my aunts and uncles sometimes play matchmaking with their friends. My sister had been to several dates set up by the family after graduating from post-grad school. I am expecting myself to receive a dose of this matchmaking game two years from now too. That is the tinge of Chinese tradition in our family.

But yeah, lately, I am starting to consider marrying a woman and having a family after seeing my dad again after 7 years (I'll write about that in another post). But who? Isabela is the only girl I've fallen in love with...and yeah... she turned out to be a lesbo. And if I do find a girl, would it be just like casting a bait in the water? Upon taking a bite of my charming lure, she'll realize that everything is merely a deceit

photo from here