Perineal Hygiene

We were discussing a case of a girl with cerebral palsy in a small group discussion together with a rehabilitation medicine consultant. One of her primary problems is her spastic hip adductor muscles. To make it more understandable, the muscles that draw her thighs together are so tense, she cannot "open" them (hindi siya makabukaka). The consultant started asking questions about the problems that can be encountered with this condition. One answered gait problems. The consultant said that that is very obvious. He asked for another answer that is not that observable but could give significant problems to the patient. The room got silent as all interns think for the right answer. Meanwhile, I tried to analyze the question by replicating the problem. I adducted my hips and in doing so, I noticed that something is getting squished. Then I suddenly blurted out loud...."Perineal hygiene!" The consultant was impressed by my answer and started explaining that indeed, perineal hygiene is compromised with this problem, leading to recurrent infections. 

After the discussion, one of my co-interns asked me how I came up with the answer. I said, "It's simple...Inipit ko...common sense."

photo from here

The man who can't move on

It has been almost 3 months since I broke up with Harry and apparently, I am the one who can't move on. My room is still filled with his memorabilia and my fridge stuffed with uneaten chocolates from Harry. Every night (when I am not on duty) I sleep hugging the stuffed panda that he gave me. When I am on duty and the emergency room is benign, I go around Malate and Ermita area to eat at places where we have been to and sit exactly where we ate. Just recently, I ate at a fastfood where we had our second date, after which, he went to my flat where we had our first kiss. (Ok, my eyes are really welling up with tears right now) Then, there are nights when I just remember the first time he told me "I love you." His voice kept on playing in my head (Basti... mahal na mahal kita) until I retire to sleep. 

Now, he hates me so much. He won't forget what I have done. I didn't cheat. But what I did just hurt him so much. He "unfriended" me in facebook and he won't read my messages at PR. I did other ways to get in touch with him in the name of another person. And that's how I knew that he is now dating someone. Well, I'm glad that he is happy now.

As for me, I think, it would take longer to get over him. It is my first relationship that went over a month, and I love him so much. In the later part of our relationship, we did lose the connection, but that does not mean that I fell out of love. I still love him (I think up to now), but I have to consider other things in life that forced me out of the relationship. 

Anyway, while trying to be nostalgic of my college days, I typed MYMP in youtube and came across this video. Seconds later, I am crying again....It is what I am currently going through...

One step closer to real life

After a long wait for my internship matching, my top choice hospital finally called. 

Woman on the other line: "Are you interested to train under our institution?" 

Me: "Hell, yeah! What took you so long to call?" (Of course that was just in my mind. My real answer was a plain yes.)

Woman on the other line: "Okay, just go to my office to receive your acceptance letter and attend the orientation on..."

Me: "...April 23 and 24."

Woman on the other line: "Oh. So you know. Anyway, welcome back to our institution."

I was actually on the road when I received the call. I was on my way to my second choice hospital  to attend their orientation. They released their matching results way before my first choice hospital. Weeks before I received the call, I have already planned to move to a new city, jog around a nearby green spacious university, go to a gym after duties and buy new gadgets with my monthly stipend from the hospital. Now, I have to quickly rearrange my plans and be prepared to get stuck with polluted Taft Avenue and fishy Baywalk, receive free meals (dry meat with brown sauce and rice), instead of cash as my monthly compensation and handle loads of patients once more.

Yes, I am willing to give all of that up for quality training...so internship, please be kind to me.

photo from here

Heart of Stone

On the sandy wilderness I lay,

I watch as night consumes the day,

Alone I feel the cool breeze blow,

As sand beneath this rock flow.

In the midst of the night's darkness,

My eyes I set to the black expanse,

There I see the twinkling madness,

A feast of stars in a joyful dance.

Then a radiant star defied the rest,

Golden, glowing in its fullest,

Nurturing heavens with its light,

Standing out in the darkness of night.

Gently, the light reached my heart,

Touched my soul and to it impart,

The beauty of love in this strife,

To use one's heart in living life.

But this heart is molded from stone,

To the shadows I hid alone,

Away from the shinning glimmer,

My star lost its will to shimmer.

Without a light I was trampled upon,

Broken, shattered, I am none,

Scattered in pieces, I looked above,

I saw my star with enduring love.

“My light is dim but I am here,

Waiting for you to come near,

When thy heart is for mine to keep,

This light will shine for thy sight to reap."

photo from here

Break up

I don't want to do it but I think I had to. 
I'm so sorry Harry.
You fell in love with a worthless person.
You made the past 10 months of my life the best.
I will always cherish the memories.
The dinners, the surprises, the walks, the thoughtfulness, everything about you.
That's why it's not easy to let you go.
Thank you for the unconditional love.
I hope we'll be okay someday.

As I try to take a glimpse of you when we parted ways, I can't help but cry and wish that it's not my last glimpse of you.

I love you Harry. Always remember that. I just need to do it.
 

Medicinae Doctor

 After 4 grueling years in medical school, I am finally receiving the degree, Medicinae Doctor (MD). By just looking at my toga, I feel like my 4 years of hard work have already been compensated. 

Starting tomorrow, I will be called Sebastian Cua, MD

My Showbiz Boyfriend

In the medical world, when one finds out that you are in a relationship, the next question would be, is he/she showbiz or non-showbiz?

Showbiz for us means that he/she is also a doctor, while non-showbiz means that he/she is not. So, that makes my boyfriend, showbiz. Anyway, no one has asked me that question yet in the hospital because so far, when they ask me if I'm already in a relationship I always answer no, which is automatically followed by an irritating "why?".

There are different views of a having a showbiz relationship. Some say that it's better because both of you would understand the lack of time for each other  while some say that you're more prone to getting bored of each other since you talk about nothing but medicine and the hospital.

As for us, we never get tired of the hospital talk. Since he is 2 years ahead of me, sometimes I feel so stupid when he lectures about hormones, receptors and some other blahs, while I make him drool with envy as I tell him how I'm so tired of inserting umbilical catheters that he could only dream of doing.

So, what do we do privately? Perhaps most would answer practicing rectal examinations....ummm...wrong... *thunder*

Kidding aside, our private time is also the moment when he unleashes his deeper emotions, telling me how frustrated he is when a patient dies, or how excited he is to live with me. He tells me of all of his plans...his plans for his career and his plans for us. He even shows me his salary and bank account and after which he stuffs half of his salary in my underwear while I dance around a makeshift pole in my apartment. (Ok, my imagination is just going overboard).

Anyway, my classmate Rafael, officially came out of the closet. (I said officially because we knew it anyway). He allegedly has two non-showbiz hunky suitors. Honestly, I'm quite envious of him not because he has two hot suitors. Rafael is already out and has nothing to hide anymore. He is living true to himself. And, aside from that, I also wanna brag that my boyfriend is cute....and he loves me so much...and he is a doctor... Beat that Rafael! Beat that!

photo from here