Chauffeur Fantasy

Leo was just a kid when he was sent to us to work as a house helper. As a form of payment, we sent him to school and took care of his school expenses and stipend. He was just an ordinary high school with a lanky body. Nevertheless, girls from his school would always hangout in front of our gate to take a peek of him, as he immediately became the latest campus hearthrob.Since I only get to see him rarely (because I am in Manila most of the time studying), I easily noticed how he changed from a boy to a young man and I began to see what those school girls were waiting for in front of our gate. But I didn't have feelings of admiration for him...YET. Anyway, he stayed with us for several years until he suddenly left because of some family drama.

Last year, a week after the end of the academic year, I told my mom to send our driver to pick me up because I'm going to spend the rest of my vacation in the province (after all those class getaways and parties, I'm too broke to live alone). She told me to wait for another week or just take the bus because our driver had just left because of...umm...another family drama (yes, they are fond of family dramas). I decided to just wait for another week and hope that my mom could find a replacement for our driver sooner. Three days later, my mom called and told me to prepare my things. Someone is going to pick me up.

While I was waiting for the new driver, I thought of how he would possibly look like. Dark, balding middle-aged guy with beer belly. That was on my mind as they were always like that. Later on, I heard a knock and I knew that that would be him. I opened the door and my jaw dropped. It was Leo. I immediately noticed his big biceps being constricted by the sleeves of his t-shirt. His chest was so tempting to touch as it seemed to be a perfect place to rest my cupped hands. "Did Isabela send me a stripper who is coincidentally Leo?" I asked myself.

"Kuya, nasan na yung gamit mo, ibababa ko na," Leo asked me.

That answered my question. He is not a stripper. He is the new driver (but somehow I wished he was the former).

One morning...err..afternoon (come on, it's summer break) a knock on my door woke me up. It was Leo.

"Kuya, emergency, kailangan po kayo ni Tito," he told me.

 It was the campaign period and my uncle and mom were away, organizing a campaign rally in a rural village. I had a quick shower and fixed myself then I went to the garage. I noticed that the garage was empty because the vehicles were used in the campaign. The only thing left there was a motorbike that Leo was trying to warm-up. I never had a motorbike ride before but since Leo is driving, I instantly mounted on his rear side (no pun intended). Since it was my first motorbike ride, I didn't know where to put my hands. Wrapping my arms around Leo's trunk while my chin is on his shoulder and the song "Close to You" is playing is of course just one of my vivid fantasies. I just placed my hands on the metal thing below the seat. 

Then one afternoon, I was hanging out in the terrace when I saw topless Leo approaching the artesian well carrying a pail. He started to pump the poso to fill up the pail, then carried the pail to the garden and started watering the plants. Then, once again, one of those naughty imaginations came to my mind...suddenly, Leo was moving in slow-mo, pouring water not onto the plants but on himself. So, before I start drooling, I just grabbed a magazine and think of other happy thoughts....like Leo on my bed...damn it...other happy thoughts...Leo naked on the shower...God! I should really stop fantasizing about Leo.

And so, the summer vacation went by. Nothing happened between me and Leo. Seeing a hot guy everyday around the house somewhat made me get used to the scene and get over the fantasy. Summer vacation is over and so, I have to go back to my real life. It would be another year of medical school.

After several months, I came back home for the Christmas break...but now, Leo is nowhere to be found. When I asked my mom why he left again, guess what she answered... his family had another family drama.

When Harry met Basti Part 3

Continued...

...After our first date, Harry and I continued texting. Like what he told me in our date, he wanted us to stay as friends first, and as such, we had to set some rules. First, since we're just friends, no flirting. Second, no romantic dates. Meeting up just  for a conversation is fine, but no romance should be involved. Both of us agreed to the rule.

The texting continued. But once a while, one of us would break the first rule. He told me that he really liked me and he wants this to work out. I told him I feel likewise. Then, he made a confession that on our first date, I was doing something that took his breath away and made his heart beat faster. I asked him what was it but he refused to tell me because I might do it again to make him weak. Later on, he admitted that it was whenever I looked into his eyes which made him feel my sincerity. Well, I was not doing that consciously. I guess, I was just captivated by him during that time.

Then one day, while we were exchanging messages, he told me that he is in a fast food in Malate area where he is reviewing for the board exam. He asked me about my day. I told him that I am craving for pizza since I did not get hold of the free pizza served during the afternoon conference and I am planning to grab some pizza for dinner on my way home. He then told me that he is so tempted to join me. I replied to him and said, "Would it be more tempting for you if I tell you that I am on the same street where you are right now?" He then said that he'll meet me at the pizza place.

Then, Harry came, with his same disappointing fashion sense...a statement shirt, baggy denim pants and slippers. Yet, he is still that adorable and cute guy I knew. He suggested that we take it out and eat it at my place. Hmmmm....I began to wonder...ano kaya ang intention neto? Nevertheless, I agreed and invited him to my place.

At my place, again, we talked then ate the pizza. Later on, we talked about the rules that we set and decided that we should strictly stick to them. But there he was, my adorable Harry, sitting beside me, in an intimate and private place. I could smell his perfume, Bvlgari Soir, from where I am sitting. Then, I finally blurted out, "Can I break a rule?" Then, I touched his hand and started caressing it. He did not object. His hand was warm and soft and I could feel my heart beat faster. Later on, I suddenly pulled his chair closer and then started kissing his soft lips. It seemed like the world stopped and finally, for the first time in my life, I felt the spark that people are talking about. My heart skipped a beat and there was some weird feeling inside me that I can't describe which felt really good. Nothing happened that night. We just made out. 

We only had two rules: 1) no flirting 2) no romantic dates. But I guess, those rules were just too hard to follow and in just one night, we broke both and so, our 10-month long tragic love-story began.

When Harry met Basti Part 2
When Harry met Basti Part 1

photo from here

When Harry met Basti Part 2

Continued....

Finally, I have time to write the continuation of our love story. Thanks to the boredom due to my unexpected two-day vacation. So here it is.

.....Well, fashion-wise, Harry is a turn-off. He also walks differently. His head was slightly bobbing like that dog on the dashboard of a car. But Harry does look good and neat. He sat in front of me and introduced himself. We ordered pasta and chicken and started our conversation. 

As usual, I have an awkward feeling on first dates. I get tongue-tied and then end up not talking. I can't think of a story to tell and most of the time, he was the one talking. I was just looking at his eyes and listening intently. He urged me to speak several times but I really can't think of a good topic that will make a good conversation. I tried talking about my interests like culture, history, documentaries, war movies. Well, it seemed like he does not know anything about what I was saying. He asked me if I play computer games. I said yes, I play the Sims. He had no comment and I guess it was not the answer that he was hoping for because he is more into those action-RPG type games. In the end, we just talked about what's really common between us...medical school. 

We stayed there for hours. But yeah, most of the time, I was silent. We finally realized that we do not share common interests and that the only thing that binds us is medical school. He told me that if we don't share common interests, he is afraid that eventually, we'll become bored of each other. I was starting to think that he didn't like me and that he was starting to make reasons why we can't see each other again. I really felt bad  and all I wanted to do was to get out of that place. He finally told me that we should stay as friends and see if it would work out between us. It's like he wants a trial period, where we could uncover similar interests. He told me that his previous relationship did not work out because of lack of shared common interests and he did not want that to happen between us. I agreed and thought that the future is bleak for us. 

Finally, my sister texted me and invited me over to dinner in a Shabu-shabu restaurant. It was my pass to end   the date. Harry did not know how to go home from the pizza place so I offered to accompany him to his stop. We walked and talked further. I really did not want to see him go yet, thinking that it might be the last, so I suggested that we walk, just to prolong the time we are together. When we reached the street were we were supposed to part ways, I asked him if he is already hungry and invited him to dinner (another prolonging tactic). He agreed and we ate at a fastfood where this time, I was trying hard to talk and impress him. Then, his mom called, telling him to go home. So, I had to finally say good-bye. He asked me if I would still go to the Shabu-shabu restaurant. I said yes and I 'll just walk since it's just a few blocks away. He offered to walk me to the restaurant. I asked him if he would like to go with me and I told him that I would just introduce him as a high school classmate. Harry refused and told me that he is usually socially awkward. So, we finally parted ways....

to be continued....

When Harry met Basti Part 1
When Harry met Basti Part 3

photo from here

Ulterior Motive

After a loooooong time of grieving over a failed relationship, I finally decided to go back to the dating scene. I've been chatting with a guy for several days. His name is Adrian. He is also a post-graduate medical intern from a private hospital near my new place. Our conversation started with questions about my past relationship. Then we also talked about our work and our plans in our career. He wants to be an otorhinolaryngologist. I told him that I could be his anesthesiologist. It was a good conversation that finally led to exchange of numbers.

The following morning, we started texting each other. It was a busy day for me. It started with rounds, followed by my reporting about embryology. After that, I had to go to the operating room to assist in a surgery. After the surgery, I had to attend another rounds to present a case of a patient. Then, my friends  suddenly decided to donate blood. So, with peer pressure, the next thing I knew was there was a large-bore needle stuck in my arm. In between these activities, I managed to reply to him and update him what was happening to me. 

After donating blood, I decided to rest in our call room first before going home ( I have a history of fainting after donating blood). I checked my phone and there was a message from him. He was asking me out. I asked him where he wanted to eat. I suggested a mall near the hospital where I am at. However, I realized that he is coming all the way from Greenhills, so, knowing that my place is just a few minutes away from his hospital, I decided to meet up with him in my condo.

He came early. I asked him to wait for me in a convenience store nearby. He was still wearing his uniform: a short-sleeved polo, white pants and black leather shoes. He was carrying a back-pack and his white coat was hanging on one of his arms. He stands about my height with short clean-cut hair. Like me, he was also wearing eye glasses. He looks neat and presentable. I introduced myself and led him to my unit.

I offered him snacks and soda and we began talking about hospital stuff. Then it shifted to my ex which later on shifted to questions about our sexual position. Then he told me to ask him anything and he will be honest. I asked him if he had been into a relationship before. He said no...but he has "played" with guys before. Then, my sister came. I introduced him as a co-intern. We just decided to eat somewhere else.

We resumed our conversation in a fast food nearby. We had a good chat but my sister texted me, telling me it's time to go home. So, it's time to part ways. He hailed a cab and waved goodbye.

When I was home, he texted me again. He told me that he had a good time but it was "bitin". He admitted that he has ulterior motives. He said that when he was about to make a move, my sister came. He told me that he hesitated to be aggressive at first because it seems like I'm not game for some wild stuff.  In the middle of the conversation, I got so sleepy and dozed off. When I woke up, he sent a message telling me that if I get to know him better, I'll see his darker side. I asked him what's that and told him that I won't judge him. He did not answer my question but told me instead that every person has a dark side. I was really sleepy so I told him that it's time to hit the sack. I told him that I really enjoyed his company. The conversation ended well.

The following morning, I greeted him good morning. There was no reply. I kept on checking my phone from time to time. There was no reply.

The following day, I sent him another message. Still there was no reply. Then, I decided to just stop sending messages. I don't wanna appear as the needy one.

I really hate that feeling when everything seems alright then suddenly, that guy would just disappear out of nowhere without any closure. It now makes me think that he was just after his ulterior motives after all but failed to achieve them; hence, leaving me just like that. Then, later on, it made me realize that perhaps, that that is the dark side that he is talking about. 

photo from here

Love you from Afar

Hello Harry. It has been five months since we broke up and up to now, I still miss you. I have a confession to make. Since you won't reply to my messages, I made a dummy account just to talk to you. Although you know me as someone else, I am very happy to at least know how you're doing now.

By the way, I have moved out of my old apartment. I left our "love dungeon" with a heavy heart  but brought with me the memories we had there...the wild sex...the cuddling...the fights...the kisses. I brought with me Xian the panda. He is now guarding my medical books. Tarshie the tarsier is mingling with the angry birds. It could have been nice making love to you in my new place. It has a view of the river and the city skyline. 

I remembered the night when I ended up things between us. It was a drizzly night. We were standing under the waiting shed of my old university. You told me that you will watch me from afar, and be happy with my accomplishments even though you're not there by my side. But then, our situation got worse and now, I know that you have no plans of talking to me or knowing how I am doing. I know that you want to bury me in the past and forget that you knew me. I understand that you can never fulfil that promise you left me that night, and so now, I am turning things around. I am here watching over you, loving you from afar.

When Harry met Basti Part 1

I never had a chance to write about how my relationship with Harry started. I promised to do so last year but I got busy with my junior internship, until we broke up. So even before I could write about how the magic began, I was already mourning about how it ended. Now, I just thought that it would be nice to document it before I move on and forget about him. 

It all started with a profile view.

I opened my PR account and checked my visitors. His username is in Latin, derived from Harry Potter. His profile picture is the cover of a Harry Potter book. His other pictures include Daniel Radcliffe and a golden snitch.  His profile says that he is a homeboy, loves puzzles and still dependent at his age (26). With that last detail, my intuition is telling me that he is also a medical student. 

I was not looking for a date or relationship during that time. It was the start of my junior internship. The final year of medical school. I am the "lowest form" of animal in the medical hierarchy. I am a slave. I need to get through this in order to get that MD degree. Sustaining a relationship would be the least of my priorities. I was just looking for friends. Someone to talk to online when I feel down. Someone who could listen to my closet stories. I found him to be a perfect online friend. So I messaged him. 

"Hey. I find your profile interesting. I think we have a lot in common."

After several days, I checked my profile again. He replied and he was also online. I forgot about the details of that conversation but what I could remember is that he told me about his family background and I had him admit that he is also a medical student. He is from a pure Chinese family. He graduated from an exclusive Catholic university and had his post-graduate internship in the hospital of the same university. He was reviewing for the board exams during that time. Then he gave me his nickname. Harry.

We became online friends. There is never a hint of romance in our conversation. We just talk about our life, our ex's and med school. After several days, he finally told me that whenever he opens his account and sees that message box turn red when I leave him a message, his heart beats faster. "Uh-oh..." I told myself. I cannot go into a relationship right now. But I also find him interesting. He never shared his face pictures to me. I never asked for them anyway. Yet, I found myself attracted to him. 

As we were talking about med school and pre-med, I was able to trace a connection between us. I have a classmate in med school who was his close friend back in college. Since that classmate is my facebook friend, I checked out her friends and typed Harry. One profile showed up. He was wearing a yellow biretta and mozzetta, the academic regalia of a Catholic university. He had small pea-sized eyes and fair complexion. I checked out his other pictures. This is definitely Harry.

Harry is cute. Average built. Nice smile. Neat. Someone you could present to your mom. So, apart from the attraction to his character, I was also physically attracted to him. So, when he asked for my number, I forgot about my i-need-to-focus-in-my-junior-internship-principle. I gave it right away and we became text mates.

Now, our conversations were marred by occasional flirting. By this time, we both know that there is something between us; however, we never talked about plans of meeting up. We both agreed that we're not yet ready for dating and it is better that we don't see each other yet. He just asked me to share  my  thoughts and what's going on in my life. Well, being a natural apathetic, I sometimes fail to do that and one time, he complained that he cannot read me and know what's going on in my mind. That scared him. 

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asked me

"I'll be taking my mock exam in the morning then I'm free after that," I replied

"Okay. Let's meet up." He texted me

I was shocked. It's my first date after a very looooong time. I think I'm not prepared. I asked him why he would like to meet up all of a sudden. 

"Sometimes, I don't know what's going on in your mind. Perhaps, seeing you personally would make me understand you more. If that's what it takes to get to know you, then let's do it. I really like you Basti."

Kinilig naman ako. So, my reply was, "Yes."

He asked me to decide where we would meet up. All I could think of was Harbor Square. It's near, it's by the bay. It's romantic. But I don't wanna go over the top, so I chose a pizza place. I went there directly from my exam. I was still wearing my uniform and carrying my duffel bag. I chose a seat overlooking the bay. Then he came. His hair is shaved and awkwardly  growing. He was wearing a striped polo shirt, a baggy pair of denim pants and a pair of slippers...

To be continued....

Perineal Hygiene

We were discussing a case of a girl with cerebral palsy in a small group discussion together with a rehabilitation medicine consultant. One of her primary problems is her spastic hip adductor muscles. To make it more understandable, the muscles that draw her thighs together are so tense, she cannot "open" them (hindi siya makabukaka). The consultant started asking questions about the problems that can be encountered with this condition. One answered gait problems. The consultant said that that is very obvious. He asked for another answer that is not that observable but could give significant problems to the patient. The room got silent as all interns think for the right answer. Meanwhile, I tried to analyze the question by replicating the problem. I adducted my hips and in doing so, I noticed that something is getting squished. Then I suddenly blurted out loud...."Perineal hygiene!" The consultant was impressed by my answer and started explaining that indeed, perineal hygiene is compromised with this problem, leading to recurrent infections. 

After the discussion, one of my co-interns asked me how I came up with the answer. I said, "It's simple...Inipit ko...common sense."

photo from here