Would have been Perfect

Isabela is back in Manila and we are desperately looking for a nice place that's conducive for studying. After studying at the university library, we came across a small coffee shop below a hotel along a popular Malate street. We used to bypass that cafe when going to a mainstream coffee shop nearby. The place reminds me of a french cafe, with its rustic wooden walls. It really looks cozy with its low ceiling and dim lights enough for reading. 

It was a drizzly night, setting the tropical Manila weather into a more comfortable one. I checked my phone. It's 24 degrees outside. The place, however, has no regard of the weather and had its air conditioning units in full blast.

"Ahhh! Don't you feel like we're in Paris (with a silent S)? The ambiance... the musique...the weather!" I told Isabela in a French accent. 

"I've never been to Europe. But yeah, this place is cool. I mean, literally cool," Isabela replied.

Her girlfriend, Fatima, also came over 30 minutes later. We sat on a four-seater table. Of course, they sat on the same side while I sat beside my bag. We were studying productively until we started feeling the cold air getting into us. Yeah, the cold is now killing the ambience... the musique... and those French blahs!

Since I lost a lot of pounds after internship (I am now near my pre-med school weight), I began wearing my small-sized wide-necked shirts to boast how much I lost to those I know (yes, no more belly!)... and fish for compliments. However, this time, showing too much skin is really not helpful. Isabela had a jacket, which of course, she shared with her girlfriend. And yeah, they could hug without the judging stares from others, because they are girls. 

With little clothing to cover me, less fat to insulate the heat, and a sweet couple sitting in front of me, I could feel the physical and emotional coldness creeping into me. I just hugged my bag sitting next to me to cover whatever it could cover. Then, I texted Isabela and said, "Would have been perfect if Harry were here.." 

Isabela read the SMS and pouted her lips while I looked at her with puppy dog eyes. Then, she whispered  something to Fatima.

"There! You're dying!" Isabela handed me the jacket. "You still got me. Don't worry." Then she smiled.

And that made me realize, it would have been perfect.... if the place were warm enough on a cold rainy day.

As for me... I think, being single is perfect... with a great best friend by my side. 

photo from here

The Brides Man

As medical internship ends, now comes the board review season where fresh graduates cram everything that they have learned for the past 5 years into their brains for a short period of 3 months.  Isabela (my lesbian best friend) and I are now staying in different sides of the metro since she opted to review in a far far away land called Farview QC. I chose to stay in the comforts of my dirty, old, but gay Manila. Once in a while, when we get tired of studying, or just miss each other, we would SMS each other about our random thoughts. 

This morning, after I get tired of studying bloody vaginas and wrinkled gooey babies that come out of them (read: Obstetrics), I sent her a message and had this conversation:

Basti: So now that same-sex marriage is legal in some countries, do you consider doing it with Fatima?

Isabela: Yes, we have talked about that. The problem is, who would come?

Basti: Me! Me! Me! *hands eagerly raised* Just make sure you'll do it in France. And yeah, pay for my airfare. Otherwise, your only willing guest won't be able to come. :(

Isabela: Ask your Mr. Right to pay for your plane ticket.

Basti: But I don't have one. :( So, who will stand as your maid of honor...or best man....whatever you call that...ehem....

Isabela: You of course! 

Basti: I have a dilemma though. So who shall I hire on your bridal shower, a male stripper, or a female stripper? Hihihihi.

Isabela: Hmmmm. I'd still go for a male stripper.

Basti: How 'bout the cake? Shall I order a dick-shaped one or a vagina-shaped one? Hihihihi

Isabela: Grrr! You! 

(Isabela still doesn't consider herself a total lesbian and hates the label. She prefers bisexual....Okay...)

Basti: Peace! I love you! Please don't make me wear a dress!

Isabela: Sure, you'll wear a tux. Sleeveless, bow tie, shorts...and bunny ears...

Basti: @#$%^!

photo from here

My best bud's unintentional coming out

So Grindr has been in existence for quite a while now but I've been living under a rock as well. I installed the application just recently,  and got addicted instantly. Grindr is like a real, tangible gaydar, or as we call it in the medical field, an ancillary procedure that  aids us in confirming what our clinical eye is telling us. I've been hanging out in coffee shops a lot lately to review for the board exams. Being situated in Manila's gay district, any hot or metrosexual guy tinkling with his phone would call for a gaydar check. A few clicks and boom! Someone's just 20 meters away. Well, I don't have any intention of introducing myself to these guys (my profile does not have a face picture and my name is just suggestive of my career) and end up hooking up with them. It's just fun when you find out what they are hiding and there's a fulfillment when you realize that your gaydar is somehow accurate.

FYI, I haven't met anyone personally from this app... well... except for this guy....

One rainy afternoon, while I was studying in a coffee shop, a hot guy came in (Ok, this is not the guy that I met, wish ko lang). So I turned on my portable tangible gaydar, but no one is nearby. Negative. So either this guy is not online, not a Grindr user, or he's just straight. But before I turned it off, there's that small red dot in one of the profiles, meaning, I got a message. It's a nameless, faceless, wordless profile some 500 meters away from me. So he's probably not in the coffee shop. I read the message anyway. He said, "Let's fuck." Thinking that this might be one of those randy airheads, I just ignored the message.

For the following days, I came back to the coffee shop to study and as hot guys came in, I turn on my Grindr. But instead of getting positive results, I get messages from the same nameless profile which I don't reply to. "Hey" "Yo" "What's your number?" "Anong height mo?" Persistent si kuya.

One day, while I was at home studying, I got tired of reading and went online. Nameless profile messaged me again and said, "Sex?" Hmmmm. I got so curious of who this guy is. So I replied, "Got pic?" There was a lag while the picture was downloading so while waiting, I was thinking, "Siguro  mukha tong tambay na malibog." A few seconds later, I was shocked.

"Keith, would it be awkward if I'll tell you that I've known you for a long time?" I told him. "Who are you?" He replied. "It's me, Basti."....

I've known Keith since high school. We somehow look like each other, and act similarly. Silent, gentle and studious. We became classmates in our senior year when he got promoted to the first section. We were really not that close but somehow, we had more interaction with each other when we became classmates.One time, in a boy scout camping, he forgot to bring a blanket. We were in a mountain then in the middle of January, so night temperatures are really low so I willingly shared my blanket with him.... Okay, I kindda have some itsy bitsy crush on him. Nothing happened under the shared blanket, okay.

After senior year, we went to the same UP campus and took different courses in neighboring colleges, so we see each other a lot. I was hoping that we could be roomies, but since he's on a tight budget, he chose a cheaper dormitory. My feelings for him was still there, but didn't flourish since I know that hanggang friends lang kami. And besides, though I find his orientation questionable, he was courting a girl in high school (typical falling-in-love-with-best-bud dilemma). College went by swiftly. Serena (my other college bestfriend mentioned in one of my posts), Keith and I became closer. Unfortunately, Keith failed in some of his subjects and was not able to graduate on time (And being good, supportive friends that we are, Serena and I bullied him for being an irregular student.).

After college, we pursued different paths. Serena worked as a nurse, Keith eventually graduated from college, while I went to medical school. Keith then redeemed himself by topping his licensure exam (yes, number one, which I am very proud of) and got a high-paying job. We became busy with our chosen paths but still managed to see each other when time permits us. The last time I saw Keith was at the start of my internship at PGH. It was his sort of post-birthday treat. After that,  I never saw him again.

Back to the present...
Keith was so embarrassed. To make him feel better, I told him the typical comforting phrases... that's normal...there's nothing to be ashamed of...yaddah yaddah... I told him about my closet life and my past love life, and eventually, he asked me out. It was 9:30 of a rainy morning. He asked me to meet him in a coffee shop at exactly 11 am. Normally, I wouldn't raise a finger to dress up and would just make an excuse why I can't come. But it was Keith! I quickly took a bath and chose a date outfit... button-down polo, brown belt, brown boat shoes, brown leather bag.

He was ordering a cup of coffee when I arrived. He was wearing a polo shirt, brown pants and a pair of thong slippers and was carrying an ordinary back pack. I instantly thought, okay, this is not the date that I am thinking of. We sat in a corner, and he started talking about his life at present, his frustrations with his career and his frustrations with a guy classmate since college. Keith is in a phase where he feels like he's losing his youth, with his parents sick and his siblings going to college, most of his earnings go to his family and little is left for him to enjoy. That's why he wanted to break free sometimes and try new things.

After having coffee, Keith told me that he's glad that he could now tell all of these things to a friend. For him,  I am still Basti, his old high school and college bud, who now, can be trusted with his other secrets. Friend zoned. Period.

As for me, now that I know where Keith stands, I dunno, but my feelings for him kindda went back to life. But what scares me is that when I let him know what I feel, and he doesn't feel the same, it might just create an atmosphere of awkwardness between us and compromise our friendship.


P.S.
I used to tell Harry that he had a lot in common with my high school crush which made me fall in love with him. I was referring to Keith.

Another Chapter Ends

Finally, another rigorous year is done. Thank you PGH for a wonderful year! 

Now, I have to face yet another challenging hurdle...the detested board exams!

Boredom

Alone in my unit during one of my rare weekends. Penniless and bored, this is what I do. Got this idea from one of my blogger friends. Probably, one of my last Harry posts. 

Highschool Rivalry

For a science high school where one has to have something between his/her ears to get in, you don't have to be a hot cheerleader or a chiseled jock for you to be popular. You just need a lot of brains and and get every extra-curricular activities that you could crunch into your loaded schedule. I happened to be a part of the cream section since I first stepped in to high school and  I became friends with the popular group. Eventually, I became one of them, climbing and stepping on others to be on top.

Once, there were four mean girls in our school. They were the only popular ones. They have been friends since primary school. I was not a part of their group because I came from another school, but I know one of them since childhood. She was Kristine. We were neighbors, playmates and childhood sweethearts back then. In the early parts of high school, we would just say hi to each other but we didn't hang out or eat lunch together. I had my own group of friends.

Then, there came a time when Kristine had a major fight with the mean girls. Finding herself alone, she turned to me for solace and eventually, we became best of friends. She also became part of my group. A year later, there was another major fight within the mean girls' circle and eventually, Paula broke away. She then turned to Kristine for comfort and eventually, became friends with our group. Now, the mean girls found another recruit, which now makes them 3 witches. Eventually, the parting of these girls developed into a rivalry between our circles which went beyond the emotional drama of the four. The fight transformed into an academic competition, with each of our circles trying to outdo the other in academic ranking. We monopolized the organizations and schemed to hold leadership in different clubs. We outnumbered the three, but they didn't just give up. They have their own tricks to kick us out of our posts, which sometimes reach to school-wide signature campaigns.

The peak of the rivalry was the student council elections. We held the leading, unbeaten party. It was so powerful that for some years, no other party dared to run for office. However, we know the capabilities of the three; so, we changed our stance and turned to diplomacy. We offered them positions in order to prevent establishment of a rival party. They accepted the proposition.

We were already convinced that we would take over the council unmatched until the day before the deadline of submission of certificates of candidacy. We realized that were not alone in the fight because they made their own party behind our backs. And so, the fight went on with the campaign period. At the end of the tally, we still emerged as the leading party, but lost one position. Anne, one of the three witches kicked out Kristine for vice presidency.

After four years of  war, we finally reached the culmination of high school...graduation. We landed in several places in the ranking, with one of us grabbing the salutatory place. However, Anne emerged as the class valedictorian; hence, she had the opportunity to bitch slap us in her valedictory address. And so, we were indirectly labeled as the "detractors" who made her stronger. Pak pak pak pak.

After graduation, we went to different universities. Most of us in the group went to UP while the rest went to UE. Anne went to Ateneo while her 2 other minions also went to UP. As years passed by, the rivalry slowly faded away. We attended home-coming parties organized by the other group, and vice versa. We give each other a hug when we see each other around the campus. When Facebook, came out, we added each other as friends and became updated with each others' lives.

This day is exactly 9 years after our high school graduation. The three witches are now married and have children. Anne now has 2. Meanwhile, most of us in our group, if not all, are single. Most of us are concentrated in our chosen career. We hold licenses and double titles in business, health and engineering. Some of my friends are beginning to build their dream houses while others (like me) are in post-graduate school.

Who succeeded? Career-wise, there's no doubt that we have left behind the three witches, but when it comes to happiness, I think the three got it. Here we are, pushing ourselves to the limit,  and toiling day and night; while the the three play with their kids and sleep beside their husbands at night satisfied. So, we have our money and titles, but the three have their security. 

So in the end, who won? Well, I really can't tell. But perhaps, in the future, my friends and I will find love to add flavor in our filthy rich lifestyle (well, hopefully, this would come true as well).  But as of this moment, the three witches still have the final laugh.Hihihihihi

photo from here

UP Naging Mahal

There used to be a joke about the big three universities: " Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang math. Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking. Sa UP mahirap ang.... estudyante." And so, there were other campus war jokes where the humor revolves around how bright but financially disadvantaged the Iskos and Iskas are.

But things have changed.  It has been five years since I graduated from the university. Back then, I just paid 300 pesos per unit. I was a regular paying student, meaning, I don't have any scholarships or discounts. That tuition is just that small. Now, UP students pay more than thrice my tuition 5 years ago.

Lately, I took a quick meal at the College of Arts and Sciences (AS) cafeteria  of UP Manila which is just across the PGH - Out Patient Department as I took advantage of my short lunch break. It is were I used to hang out back in college while waiting for a class. It is a bit different now, with conyo as the major language of communication.Students are busy crushing candies in their iPads. iPhones are also everywhere...and parking (in AS), is as difficult as that in La Salle.

And so, I therefore conclude, that UP is not what it used to be. Well, quality-wise, education is still among the best, but sadly, it is no longer for the masses.The increasing cost of education in the university mandated to educate the financially disadvantaged has created a social shift in the student population. Hence, those campus jokes are no longer applicable, as tuition in UP can now drive a poor student to death...um...literally. (And therefore, an Atenean can no longer tell an Isko that the latter's tuition is just his stipend for a day.)

As with Kristel Tejada's suicide, I still believe that UP should not get the sole blame for her death. Coming from a medical perspective, the drive of a person to commit suicide is multifactorial. The forced leave of absence and inability to pay the tuition may be just one of them. Indeed, these might have been just  overemphasized by the militant students, but in the end, what good came out of this issue is the realization of the policies that render the poor students powerless. And I hope in the near future, the government would review its budget allocation and the UP system would create lenient policies that won't suffocate the disadvantaged students.

Well, as for the moment, UP is still UP. Too bad, you can't enjoy it when you can't afford it.

As for the present Iskos and Iskas, you are lucky enough to be endowed with brains and enough money to afford UP. But I hope you won't forget your fellow Iskos and Iskas and even those outside UP who are struggling to make ends meet but highly value education. Complacency may lead to apathy which is not how UP brought us up.

And so, I shout again what I used to shout on the streets, "Iskolar ng Bayan! Ngayon ay Lumalaban!"

photo from here